Welcome to the Life Solutions Network Life Skills Wiki. You will find a blend of original content with links to vetted content. While anyone can use it – parents, teens, managers and service professionals – this Wiki is targeted toward people who are serving others in a capability-building role, especially volunteer mentors and life skills coaches.
Personal Skills
Life Purpose. Life purpose is a high-level calling about how we choose to live our lives. It is a reference point or beacon for our goals and daily activities. Our purpose is the essence of our being and it serves to guide us in making important choices on how we spend our time and live our lives.
Visioning. Personal visioning is the process of “looking” into your future and capturing its essence in words and pictures (any media). It is a representation and imagination of your future state, part idealism and part plan. It addresses any part of your life you choose, e.g. personal, family, career, relationships, financial, etc.
Goal Setting. Goals are essential to progress in life. They represent our desired future and dreams. The process of consciously thinking or writing (preferred) goals establishes personal clarity and then helps align our thoughts and behaviors to move toward those goals. They can be set in any area of our lives including personal growth, family, career, and more. Goals require desire and self-discipline if they are worth achieving.
Self-Discipline. Good habits propel us to achieve our goals while bad habits can keep us stuck where we are. Developing the habit of self-discipline will enable you to make the harder right choice to work toward your goals instead of procrastinating. Self-discipline is simply the ability to motivate yourself in spite of not feeling like working toward your goal in the moment. Qualities associated with self-discipline include willpower, hard work, and persistence. It’s helpful to think of self-discipline as a skill that can be strengthened more than a gift that some people are blessed with but not others.
Decision Making. We make hundreds of decisions every day. Most are small, e.g. what should I have for dinner or should I allow the kids to play with a neighbor child? It is the bigger decisions that deserve conscious thought and planning, e.g. what car should I buy, which college should I attend or is it time to change jobs? These bigger decisions need a framework to guide us toward an answer. Decision making is choosing among various options. Good decision making processes guide us toward our personal goals and project objectives.
Positive Thinking. You become what you think. If you believe you can do something you probably will. The moment you stop believing in yourself is the moment your quest will end. Positive thinking comes easily for some people but must be worked at for others. Positive thinking people are happier, healthier and more successful. Life is more fun. Learning occurs continuously and helps make you a better person.
Life Habits. A habit is something we routinely and sometimes unconsciously do. There are good habits (brushing our teeth, fastening seat belts) and bad habits (smoking, talking with mouth full). They are important elements of our unique lives but they best serve us when done choicefully.
Time Management. Time is usually a scarce commodity in our lives. Planning and self-discipline are helpful prerequisites to maximizing important and purposeful time.
Dealing With Emotions. There are dozens of emotions that are a part of everyday life and can guide us in our personal growth. We tend to make a positive (happiness, love) or negative (grief, anger) association toward our emotions but when we realize that each of us react differently then we can see that our emotions are personal or even subjective. This page focuses on more on dealing with negative emotions and addresses them in a general way.
Well-Being. Well-being is more than just being healthy or happy. It’s a sense of vitality, connection, and purpose that comes from your thoughts, emotions, actions, and experiences.
Interpersonal Skills
Communicating Constructively. Communication takes many forms, from casual to formal, 1:1 or in a group, “small talk” to important messages and verbal to written to body language. It is the foundation of personal learning, relationship growth and influencing. Everyone thinks they are good at it but there is usually room for improvement. This page addresses the “talking” side of communication; there is another page for “listening”.
Skill-Based Volunteerism. Volunteering is a wonderful way of giving and loving others. Volunteer opportunities come in unlimited forms and with thought, you should be able to find something that’s right for you. Skill-based volunteering is about using your skills, talents and experiences. Some people seek to learn new skills and aptitudes through volunteering, others seek to apply their specialized skills in their volunteer role. This is skills-based volunteering.
Life Roles. Many people are part of our lives; some are family, others are friends and yet others are people we work with. Some of these people are part of our lives without choice (co-workers) and others we can choose (friends). We have many roles including son/daughter, husband/wife/partner, brother/sister, friend, co-worker and many more. Our life roles are important and we need to think about them consciously.
Mentoring. Mentoring is a value-adding relationship process where a person supports another’s growth. Mentors build people up and pull them toward their own dreams rather than push them. Relationships are not based on expectations, instead mentors seek to understand and support the mentee’s life purpose and goals. While coaching and sharing of personal experience is important, it is more about listening, reflecting and guiding.
Listening. Listening seems like such a simple skill but the real skill is to make sure the speaker is heard and know that they have been understood. With this “active listening” we enable personal learning and growth of important relationships.
Job and Career Skills
Know Yourself. “Who Am I?” may be one of the most commonly asked questions. A deeper understanding of your answer is critical to life success and happiness – and critical to a successful job search and career satisfaction. Just as it is difficult to market and sell a product or service without knowing what it is and the value it offers, so it is the same for each if us. Knowing yourself brings about calm, a definition, an expression of value and self-worth.
Career Planning. Career planning is the ongoing process to take on roles and jobs to move you toward your career goals. It is the planned and unplanned accumulation of capabilities that add personal value. It integrates self-knowledge (personal needs and interests with an ideal outcome to create personal energy) with job market knowledge. It requires proactive decision-making and pursuit of experiences, assignments, jobs and potentially companies.
Resumes & Cover Letters. A resume is the most important ‘marketing’ document in your job search. It is the written part of your life that includes education, jobs, accomplishments, references and more. It is the way to communicate and sell your “story” to potential employers with an intent to link to employer needs. The desired outcome of the resume review is to get a job interview.
Searching. Searching for a new job requires patience, deliberation and self-discipline and if unemployed, probably takes on a level of urgency. The search should be based on career goals then followed by sufficient research of target companies to allow you to be in control. Keeping in mind that networking (presented as a separate topic) is the largest source of job leads, you will have to check newspapers, job search sites and company web sites to understand potential job leads.
Networking. Networking is the ongoing process to secure job leads, advice and additional contacts. Experience shows that many job opportunities are not posted and visible to the public.
Applications. Formally submitting a job application can be a tedious task. Gathering all of your personal data in advance in a master profile can make it easier. The accuracy, completeness and “look” of the submitted application allows an employer to make a first impression of you.
Presenting Yourself. Applications and resumes get your foot in the employer’s door but now YOU are the product and you need a marketing mindset. We help sell ourselves by making a good first impression (appearance and demeanor) then energetically using our conversation, body language and positive attitude to convince the employer that we are the right person for the job.
Interviewing. You’ve been waiting many weeks (or months) to get any reply from your applications and now your time has finally arrived. Your interview is scheduled soon. You are nervous yet confident because you are prepared. You know your TMAY and STAR stories and can answer the tough interview questions.
Money Management
Money Management Overview. Money is an essential part of our lives. We need it for necessities such as food, clothing, shelter, transportation and medical services. We may also want it for the niceties of life such as entertainment, travel or technology. We must spend smartly in the short-term so we can save and invest for the longer-term.
Spending & Saving. For many of us, money is a scarce resource in our lives and so we must save, spend and shop smartly. We must put aside some money for short-term (big bills later in the year) and long-term future needs (new car). We must distinguish our needs from our wants (spending choices) then shop for the best value.
Budgeting. Budgeting is the process of planning for how you will spend your money. Simply, it compares expenses with income to see if your needs and wants are affordable. The primary purpose of budgeting is to meet your short and long-term financial goals, one of which should be saving. Every dollar you spend should be planned against a category.
Credit and Debt. Debt represents spending more than we earn and our inability to save for emergencies and future needs. It is generally undesirable but sometime necessary for extremely large expenses such as a college education or home purchase. Credit is just our ability to secure a loan. Have “good credit” means that a loaning institution, e.g. a bank believes we have the ability to pay it back as scheduled.
Banking. A bank is one of many types of financial institutions that will handle your personal money. Checking and savings accounts are most typical but banks also usually loan money for big purchases and handle longer-term investments.
Christian Spirituality
Spirituality Intro. Christian Spirituality is our life with God, our awareness of God and a lifestyle that responds to God’s love. Reflection and prayer are the tools to “find God” in our lives. Spiritual friendship and community helps us to find direction, be accountable for our spiritual growth. As we grow spiritually we reach out to others, especially those in need.
Healing Memories – Forgiven. We are beloved of God and made in the image of God but we are not God. We are not perfect. We miss the mark (and sin). Sometimes we are unaware of our failings…”what we have done and what we have failed to do”. Regularly we need to acknowledge our failings, seek forgiveness and make restoration. Sometimes we are so aware of our failings that we wallow in remorse, shame and guilt. Yet God is God and God’s love is perfect, merciful and forgiving.
Healing Memories – Forgiveness. Forgiveness is the letting go of negative emotions from the hurts (real or imagined) others inflict on me. It does not mean to condone, excuse, or forget the wrong doing but frees me and the other from my anger and other related, negative emotions. Unless we forgive, we cannot be free. When Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us…as we forgive…” that was not a threat but a realization that if we do not forgive others we are bound by our lack of forgiveness as well.
Prayer. Prayer is to our spiritual life what blood is to our physical life. Prayer is that ongoing conversation with God that keeps our spirit alive and in touch with the source of life. The “stuff” of prayer is our lives, the word, and silence. Reflecting on our lives empowers us to hear what God is saying to us in our experience. The word is our rich tradition of sacred scripture, sacred writing and common prayer that we can “enter into” to hear what God is saying through these to us. Silence is the emptying of ourselves to be open to what God is saying, being, calling us to.
Loving. Love is the force that brings us to life. Knowing you’re beloved of God, forgiven and have forgiven those whose faults you’ve dwelt on, you are free! You are free to love others. Dr. Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages has shed light on love for couples and families. He makes us aware of the differences in how we receive love and how we can better communicate love to one another appreciating our differences. These same love languages speak to those outside of our homes as well. Jesus calls us to love even the “least of my brothers”. We are called to love through compassionate service, even if this is not your native “love language”.
Gratitude. Secular living is often driven by consumption and fear of scarcity, what are we missing? Christian living is the assurance of God’s providence and gratitude for God’s gifts, what are our blessings? Saying thank you to others, with our words and our deeds, shares our gratitude and transforms society.
Misc Skills
Trauma. Psychological trauma is damage to the mind that occurs as a result of a distressing event. Trauma is often the result of an overwhelming amount of stress that exceeds one’s ability to cope, or integrate the emotions involved with that experience. Trauma may result from a single distressing experience or recurring events of being overwhelmed that can be precipitated in weeks, years, or even decades as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances, eventually leading to serious, long-term negative consequences.
Should I Start a Business? There are many reasons to consider a home or small business, e.g. desire to be more independent of a boss or corporation, flexibility to supplement income or maybe it’s simply been your dream. Businesses takes various shapes including home business, on-line business or physical “store”. Regardless of the reason and type, taking the first steps requires careful planning. The typical new business started in the United States is no longer in operation five years after being founded (source).
Manage and Lead
Process Management. Most work by individuals in an organization is a part of a (business) process rather than a project. A process is simply a repeatable set of activities to meet a desired outcome. It is an important concept because the structuring of work around a process owner guides documentation, standardization and continual improvement.
Effective Meetings. The skill of ‘effective meetings’ is not just about running a good meeting. This skill allows you to make the most of the resources dedicated to a particular meeting topic. It includes how to prepare for, execute and follow-up on critical meeting objectives.
Effective 1-to1’s. For a manager, having effective 1-to-1 meetings with your direct reports can be the difference between being able to deliver required tasks and projects or not; the difference between developing your staff to their full potential or not. This simple activity, done regularly, is a key to becoming a skilled manager of others.